Wise Comparisions vs. Unwise Comparisions



The Shiv Pariwar or family is a perfect example of unity-in-diversity. Here every member and every creature is unique. Everyone has their individuality, powers, strengths, and weaknesses. Yet everyone co-exists in love, mutual respect, and freedom of self-expression.

We compare

You often end up comparing yourself to others. You can not help it. But have you seen that when you compare with someone less than you, you feel bad for them but are satisfied with yourself? On the other hand, when you compare with someone better than you, you feel sad or jealous or generally very dissatisfied. Someone worse off often gives a boost of confidence to you. You feel grateful and blessed. While someone who is better off, usually lowers your self-confidence and drive. You feel unsure and worried.

You are Human: 

What can you do? You are human. First, it is essential to know that you will compare with others no matter what. It is natural for it to happen. There is nothing wrong with it. However, your reaction to the comparison, and your actions due to it, will have a huge effect on your life. We are reactive animals, but we need to pause and reason.


In every unique situation, your feelings will be swayed by your perception of yourself. In almost everyone's life, there are areas where you believe your strengths or weaknesses lie. In the same office, two employees can feel blessed or dissatisfied with a given task. Similarly, in any given family, no two members think they have been treated alike. 


Classrooms often see the co-existence of talented-gifted children and children who have to work hard to comprehend their lessons. We have all gone through these differences. 


Learn from it:

Since you can't do away with comparisons, you can learn from it. Positive attitude and positive life perception is the key to success. Know that you are a combination of strengths and weaknesses. To feel sad when you see someone doing better than you is useless. Feeling anxious or depressed will solve nothing. 


Instead, take the time to look at yourself. What have you been doing wrong? Could you change something in your life or lifestyle to make that positive-progressive change manifest in your life? Maybe you could ask someone to help you out.


A positive step could help usher more successes in your life. That would be beneficial. Comparing in this healthy manner could provide the wakeup call for you to take action and improve your lot in life also similarly if you see someone worse off than you. Rather than feel bad for them, see if you could tactfully help them. I say tactfully because that person will have noticed that comparatively he or she is worse than you and maybe feeling bad already.


Walk away from it:

 There will be times when the comparisons are so far and wide that you really can't do anything about it. There may be things you cannot change at all. Learn to do your best and walk away from it. Never obsess when comparisons become hard to bridge. Also, realize that these vastly different situations should never be compared anyway. After all, you can only compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges.


There is a saying, 

"God, help me to change all that I can change and help me to accept all that I cannot change. And God, please help me to know the difference when such a situation arrives".